When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Monday, May 12, 2014

I want to change...

As moms we think that we should always keep this "I got my family and myself all together" mask on.  We spend so much time fighting inner battles.  But when it comes down to it we all; preachers wife, high school drop out, single mom, remarried mom, career woman/mom, career mommy or whatever label you want to put on yourself, we all are just learning this mommy thing.  We have no idea what we are doing.  We all make mistakes, we swing and we miss.  We all have some kind of guilt.  We have at one point thought or did lose dreams we once dreamed for ourselves.  We even have felt or will feel as though we are a fixture in our homes.  Someone who just keeps the home together but importance does not feel significant.

So if we feel the same at one point or another, why do we fight this inner battle alone?  Why do we always feel as though we are in this alone?  I can answer it for myself.  

I feel like if I whine then I am weak.
If I ask for help then I have failed.
If I don't look like I have it all together then I am looked down at!
My weaknesses make me vulnerable.
If my family doesn't look picture like then they will be judged.

So today I put it out there.  I will work on taking my "I got it all together mask" off and I my embrace my craziness.  I will not allow "standards" to hold me down and will not feel as though I am weak because I don't meet them.  I will spend the time I take perfecting things and spend it loving my family and friends.  I will spend the time I take messing with the minor things reading the bible and growing my relationship with God.

I think I am going to start off by putting off the large basket of socks I am suppose to fold.  Hehehe!  Well, if we were being honest I have been putting them off for 5 days now.  So what is one more day?

I want to change.  Do you?