There are so many "ideas" of how to be a good mom.
How we can become the next "super mom"? All these ideas
and ways are just a path for us to strive for but we are humans and we all have
flaws. The super mom status is impossible to accomplish all day every
day. We may have moments of super mom status but then we stubble and we
have a human moment and that is OK. When I sat down to write what I think
I can do to be a Good Mom this is what I came up with. I FAIL at these
DAILY but this is really what I strive for. Also these are in NO
PARTICULAR order!
1. Put my marriage ahead of the kids.
I struggled with understanding this and still put my husband on the back
burner but it makes sense. This doesn't mean I am off running around
leaving the kids behind all the time but this does mean cherishing the relationship
with my husband. My kids will be around for 18 years then they are off
and on their own. They will have their own relationships and lives.
I won't be the center of it. I need to keep developing,
strengthening and exploring our relationship with my spouse because he will be
there a lot longer. I will be making a huge mistake by waiting until the
kids are gone. By then we will be strangers to each other. Also this
relationship is what our children grow watching, learning from and will copy.
I will the example they will remember.
2. Be Patient. I know you are
laughing right now because I laughed when I typed it. That can be hard
and if anything being patient is a test. But if I sit back and look at
crazy moments in life. Then I compare those crazy moments that I had
patience with and the crazy moments I lacked patience. Which moments were
more successful? Counting to 10 in my head and saying a silent prayer
helps me. Also making fun of the situation in my head works for me too.
What works for you?
3. Mommy Time-Outs EXIST and I need
to take one! Oh how I wish I knew they were real earlier in my life.
These time-outs are needed when you feel your patience vanishing
completely or you feel a mommy melt down sneaking up on you. Mommy time-outs
are different for each mom. If I have a 1 year old, I would place my baby
into their crib or playpen, place a few toys with them and then sit at the
kitchen table for 3 minutes. But now that my kids are older I tell them I
need a mommy time-out and they get it. I go into my room and I fall face
first into my bed. Five to ten minutes later I can get back to life. I do think it is kind of a rip off because when we put our kids in
time-outs we put them there for a minute for each year alive. Why can't I
have that!? I could use a 31 minute time-out. :)
4. Know my child is an individual.
My oldest does not learn, feel, fear, love the same as my youngest.
I have to make sure we learning their love language, their fears, their
comforts and not expect them to be the same as others.
5. Be their biggest fan! I am
their cheerleader and will always be their #1 fan.
6. I need to be the person I want
them to be when they grow up. I am their primary example.
7. Do Not Judge! What kind of an example is that for my kids
if I judge others? They learn from us! But also judging pushes away
others and as moms we cannot develop relationships with other moms when that is
at the front! As moms we need relationships with other moms to survive and
to be good moms. Other moms are amazing outlets to frustrations,
conflicts but also an amazing people to celebrate with! We are all hot
messes. We may be able to make it look like we have it all together but
just admit we are hot messes! :)
8. Speak the truth. Sugar
coating things and lying about life situations are not going to help them in
the long run. Now there is an age appropriate way of telling the truth!
9. Show Integrity! Live like I
say I am going to. Be an Example in all ways of life.
10. Show my kids the unconditional,
crazy love I have for them!! I know there is a difference between
spoiling them, helicoptering them and loving them sooo much. You can't
over love your child!
11. Teach them to help others. Thinking
outside themselves.
12. Teaching them to be polite. This is important in
all situations.
13. Teaching them gratitude.
Nobody in this world owes you anything. I am not above anyone on
earth and nobody is above me (in general). Show gratitude to all.
14. Be Available! When they
"call” I need to put everything down. Don't multi-task when they are
talking.
15. Give them freedom to fail.
It is OK to fail (it is natural) and it will happened. It is what happeneds
after that matters.
16. Asking for forgiveness and
forgiving. I need to let them see both. They will need to see an
example of the mature Christ like ways of doing both.
17. Work hard. Teaching them
to work hard for little is important. Opportunities, money, possession
will not be just handed to you.
18. Allow them to talk out their
feelings, cry on my shoulder, be angry and show happiness. It is so
important that they feel as their home is a safe place for them to express
their feelings but then to grown from those feelings.
19. Make sure they know that I will
never give up on them. As much as things can tough or frustrating I am
here and I will be here for them good, bad and everything in between.
20. God loves them! His unconditional love is enough and the greatest gift of all! Everything on
this earth is temporary. God has an amazing place waiting for us!
What other ideas do you have?
Thoughts? Reactions?