Ways I can be a good mom.

There are so many "ideas" of how to be a good mom.  How we can become the next "super mom"?  All these ideas and ways are just a path for us to strive for but we are humans and we all have flaws.  The super mom status is impossible to accomplish all day every day.  We may have moments of super mom status but then we stubble and we have a human moment and that is OK.  When I sat down to write what I think I can do to be a Good Mom this is what I came up with.  I FAIL at these DAILY but this is really what I strive for.  Also these are in NO PARTICULAR order!  

1. Put my marriage ahead of the kids.  I struggled with understanding this and still put my husband on the back burner but it makes sense.  This doesn't mean I am off running around leaving the kids behind all the time but this does mean cherishing the relationship with my husband.  My kids will be around for 18 years then they are off and on their own.  They will have their own relationships and lives.  I won't be the center of it.  I need to keep developing, strengthening and exploring our relationship with my spouse because he will be there a lot longer.  I will be making a huge mistake by waiting until the kids are gone.  By then we will be strangers to each other. Also this relationship is what our children grow watching, learning from and will copy.  I will the example they will remember.  

2. Be Patient.  I know you are laughing right now because I laughed when I typed it. That can be hard and if anything being patient is a test.  But if I sit back and look at crazy moments in life.  Then I compare those crazy moments that I had patience with and the crazy moments I lacked patience.  Which moments were more successful?  Counting to 10 in my head and saying a silent prayer helps me.  Also making fun of the situation in my head works for me too.  What works for you?

3.  Mommy Time-Outs EXIST and I need to take one!  Oh how I wish I knew they were real earlier in my life.  These time-outs are needed when you feel your patience vanishing completely or you feel a mommy melt down sneaking up on you. Mommy time-outs are different for each mom.  If I have a 1 year old, I would place my baby into their crib or playpen, place a few toys with them and then sit at the kitchen table for 3 minutes.  But now that my kids are older I tell them I need a mommy time-out and they get it.  I go into my room and I fall face first into my bed.  Five to ten minutes later I can get back to life. I do think it is kind of a rip off because when we put our kids in time-outs we put them there for a minute for each year alive.  Why can't I have that!?  I could use a 31 minute time-out. :)

4. Know my child is an individual.  My oldest does not learn, feel, fear, love the same as my youngest.  I have to make sure we learning their love language, their fears, their comforts and not expect them to be the same as others.   

5.  Be their biggest fan!  I am their cheerleader and will always be their #1 fan. 

6.  I need to be the person I want them to be when they grow up. I am their primary example. 

7.  Do Not Judge!  What kind of an example is that for my kids if I judge others?  They learn from us!  But also judging pushes away others and as moms we cannot develop relationships with other moms when that is at the front!  As moms we need relationships with other moms to survive and to be good moms.  Other moms are amazing outlets to frustrations, conflicts but also an amazing people to celebrate with!  We are all hot messes.  We may be able to make it look like we have it all together but just admit we are hot messes!  :)

8.  Speak the truth.  Sugar coating things and lying about life situations are not going to help them in the long run. Now there is an age appropriate way of telling the truth! 

9.  Show Integrity!  Live like I say I am going to.  Be an Example in all ways of life.  

10.  Show my kids the unconditional, crazy love I have for them!!  I know there is a difference between spoiling them, helicoptering them and loving them sooo much.  You can't over love your child!  

11. Teach them to help others. Thinking outside themselves.  

12.  Teaching them to be polite.  This is important in all situations.  

13.  Teaching them gratitude.  Nobody in this world owes you anything.  I am not above anyone on earth and nobody is above me (in general).  Show gratitude to all.  

14.  Be Available!   When they "call” I need to put everything down.  Don't multi-task when they are talking.  

15.  Give them freedom to fail.  It is OK to fail (it is natural) and it will happened.  It is what happeneds after that matters.  

16.  Asking for forgiveness and forgiving.  I need to let them see both.  They will need to see an example of the mature Christ like ways of doing both.  

17.  Work hard.  Teaching them to work hard for little is important.  Opportunities, money, possession will not be just handed to you.  

18.  Allow them to talk out their feelings, cry on my shoulder, be angry and show happiness.  It is so important that they feel as their home is a safe place for them to express their feelings but then to grown from those feelings.  

19.  Make sure they know that I will never give up on them.  As much as things can tough or frustrating I am here and I will be here for them good, bad and everything in between.

20.  God loves them!  His unconditional love is enough and the greatest gift of all!   Everything on this earth is temporary.  God has an amazing place waiting for us! 

What other ideas do you have?  Thoughts?  Reactions?  

Facebook Quizzes

I know I am not the only one who has taken these quizzes on Facebook!  You can take quizzes to find out what color you are, what food you are, what animal you are, what song you represent to what spring smell you are.  It really is crazy how many quizzes on some goofy topics out there.  But that does not stop us from taking them.  So I took 10 quizzes and here are the results and then the links to the quiz so you can take them.  How close are they to reality!?  Share your results.


1. Nickname Generator 

Your nickname is Dottie
Like freckles, polka dots, or sprinkles, you are totally cute!

I have freckles and my husband says I am cute.  



2. What Decade are you?

You Are The 1960s
You are a liberal minded, progressive, and caring person. You believe in love. You appreciate the dynamic days of the 1960s, when people truly wanted to change the world. You believe in justice and equality for all. You can't rest until everyone in the world is treated fairly. You are willing to stand firm for what you believe in, even if no one else is standing with you.

I really think a lot of that does describe me.  I was kind of shocked by the decade.  I was always thinking I should have lived in the 50's!


3. One word that describes you

You Are Impulsive
More than anything else, you crave freedom in your life. You have to be able to do what you want. You are stubborn and independent. You don't take no for an answer. You like to live in the moment, and you tend to be a pretty big thrill seeker. You are easy going unless you are challenged. You are flexible until you're not.

This one is very correct.  This is a struggle of mine but I also have realized it is not just a bad thing; it can be good attribute.  


4. Which period should you have lived in?

You Should Have Lived in The Stone Age
You love nature in its purest form and technology is not that friendly to you. You hate how corporations are killing the planet and you miss the simpler times.

I know I should be a little more earth friendly but this quiz is defiantly not me.  



5. What sitcom are you?

You Are Family Matters
You treasure your family and your close friends and even though you may not always agree you can usually see eye to eye.

Family and friends mean the world to me and this sitcom rocked back in the day!  So I will say "sure this is me!"


6. Which color of the rainbow are you?

You Are Red
You're passionate, loyal and resourceful, totally independent and can rely on yourself. You can achieve anything you want, so go ahead and do it!

My favorite color and this is me!  I get too passionate sometimes and I am defiantly resourceful!  


7. What sport are you?

You Are Football
You can be very competitive and take loosing very personally.

Competition is in my blood.  My husband and I can make a competition out of folding socks (Which we don't do often...read yesterdays post).  


8. Who are you in your group of friends?

You Are Healthy One
You are very conscious about your health and everything you do, or don't do, is for the sake of your health.

My friends that are reading this are literally laughing out loud!  I LOVE SWEETS!  I love food.  I am probably the complete OPPOSITE of the HEALTHY ONE!


9. What pet are you?

You Are Turtle
You are easy going and hate being in a rush- you enjoy the simple things in life.

I agree to an extent but I don't know fully!


10. What looney tune character are you?

You Are Bugs Bunny
You are well known and loved among your friends and your family.

So what are your results!? Share...

Socks

Six days and I finally got to the dreaded basket of socks.  After finishing the painful task I only have 9 socks who lost their match!  How does that happen?  Where do they go?  I know when I go through the boys room I will find a sock or two but come on 9!

I want to change...

As moms we think that we should always keep this "I got my family and myself all together" mask on.  We spend so much time fighting inner battles.  But when it comes down to it we all; preachers wife, high school drop out, single mom, remarried mom, career woman/mom, career mommy or whatever label you want to put on yourself, we all are just learning this mommy thing.  We have no idea what we are doing.  We all make mistakes, we swing and we miss.  We all have some kind of guilt.  We have at one point thought or did lose dreams we once dreamed for ourselves.  We even have felt or will feel as though we are a fixture in our homes.  Someone who just keeps the home together but importance does not feel significant.

So if we feel the same at one point or another, why do we fight this inner battle alone?  Why do we always feel as though we are in this alone?  I can answer it for myself.  

I feel like if I whine then I am weak.
If I ask for help then I have failed.
If I don't look like I have it all together then I am looked down at!
My weaknesses make me vulnerable.
If my family doesn't look picture like then they will be judged.

So today I put it out there.  I will work on taking my "I got it all together mask" off and I my embrace my craziness.  I will not allow "standards" to hold me down and will not feel as though I am weak because I don't meet them.  I will spend the time I take perfecting things and spend it loving my family and friends.  I will spend the time I take messing with the minor things reading the bible and growing my relationship with God.

I think I am going to start off by putting off the large basket of socks I am suppose to fold.  Hehehe!  Well, if we were being honest I have been putting them off for 5 days now.  So what is one more day?

I want to change.  Do you?

Hot Mess Momma

Well, it has been FOREVER since I have blogged!  I have been so crazy busy with life.  Baseball turns into Hockey season and then right back into Baseball.  Then we managed to fit in a move and school transfer.  We are truly grateful for all God has blessed us with this year.

My husband and I laugh and smile at how far we have come.  We defiantly tried really hard to make our story as interesting as we can.  Oh how we get shocked looks, giggles and appreciation for our story! If you don't know it ask me, I would love to share what I call a story of love, chaos, laughter and well HOT MESS relationship.  I used to be completely ashamed of our story.  But the day I embraced it was a day that opened a new door that brought me closer to God, my husband and even opened the door to new friendships.

Which brings me to the name of my Facebook Page; Hot Mess Momma?  Thats ok with me.

I love the feedback, encouragement and love that has been shared with this page.  Please share, encourage and have FUN being a Hot Mess MOMMA!  

Have a Happy New Year!