When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

19 Tough Situations Moms Go Through

Jill Savage write in a blog of hers 19 Tough Situations Moms Go Through.  I really wanted to get candid and explore these 19 Situations.

1.  You are not the only mom who feels worthless sometimes. 

Wow feel this daily.  Some may call it a pity party but you know when you get into such a routine and you get into a "rut"  you just feel like what is my point.  I know what a great attitude but sometimes I just get to that point I feel worthless.  Honestly I always thought I felt I am the only mom.  But just recently mommies have been opening up around me and bringing down the "perfect mommy" walls we have all built for the world to see.  Mommies have been honest and shown that we aren't perfect and we do have these feelings!!  

2. You are not the only mom who yelled at your children today.

OH this isn't me!  hahaha!!  Well, there are times I hope the neighbors don't hear me!  I have two boys and sometimes my voice, you know the sweet mommy voice just doesn't get through to them.  Yeah so I have the "Daddy" voice too!  It may be very effective at the time but I always feel like crap after using it.  But man those boys in my life can defiantly push me to a whole new level and quick!  

3.  You are not the only mom who is trying to blend two families into one and finding it far more difficult than you thought.

This may not be every mom.  Not everyone one knows this is my family.  We are semi blended.  I bring in a child into the mix.  It brings it challenges and its frustrations.  The first few years were not fun because I tried to control the situation.  Yeah I have learned that if I try to control a situation I usually FAIL!  I finally gave the situation and the relationships up to GOD and man He defiantly has better plans and ways of doing things.  Since giving it to God things have changed so much and for the better.  Don't be fooled it can be tough but I have God in the driver seat.  

4.  You are not the only mom who wishes her husband would just hold her and listen to her.

How nice would it be to listen to.  I talk and then he says "Oh what was that?"  HAHAHA!  This makes me laugh so hard when he says that.  Well, not really laugh but wanting to pounce on him with frustration.  I usually take about 10 deep breaths and either walk away or yes I sometimes say it again in a little bit louder huskier way.     

5. You are not the only mom who isn't making enough money to make ends meet.

I am at home watching one kid right now hopefully two very soon.  We are making it but I wish I was helping my family more.  I want to do so much for these 3 boys in my life and when I feel like I fall short I feel as though I am not only failing them but myself.  I know that it is so weird and uncomfortable to talk about this with others or with friends but I know that a lot of mom's do feel this way and we do struggle with this.  Opening up and talking, relating with others can make the storm within calm a bit.  

6.  You are not the only mom who constantly battles a weight issue.

OK...I will tell you all honestly that weight issues have been a problem.  Yeah you look at me and say WHATEVER.  I get that.  But I dealt with an eating disorder for years.  Then finally after my 2nd baby I hit ideal weight.  But now ideal weight feels yucky to me.  I tend to binge eat then to make myself feel better and then I feel horrible about myself.  So really it is a viscous cycle.  Really I am ok with my weight now.  I just want to "tone" everything!  I jiggle a lot and I am grateful when clothes keep it confined.  But then when I do have time to exersises I am tired.  I don't want to.  I have no motivation.  So then I don't and that is when the next vicious cycle happens.  Oh how these cycles are crazy!  

7.  You are not the only mom who struggles with your faith and understanding God.

My husband is not a believer so I feel I fall easily.  Sometimes I don't get why God doesn't shake my husband or at least hit him with a spiritual 2x4!  I struggle with understanding the "why me's" or the "what nows".   I know God's plan is so much bigger than I can imagine but placing my life in His hands can be tough at times.  But I know that when I fall God is the one I can count on and I need to remember that no matter what!  

8.  You are not the only mom who is critical of her husband.

I hope my husband doesn't read this blog.  I am so critical of him.  I am so hard on him and man I think he should be just like me.  Think like me, act like me and want things done like me.   I guess that is kind of an unfair way of thinking.  I know I know..."DUH, Stacey!"  I am getting better at not saying my critiques or thoughts but oh how badly I fail.  I really am grateful for him.  He loves me, he loves my kids, he goes to work everyday and work hard at a job he hates.  He coaches all of our kids sports and he truly is a good man but I am pretty good at finding those flaws!  I need to remember to be grateful and accept him for the man he is.  

9.  You are not the only mom who has said something to a friend that you later regretted.

All I have to say is I say what I think.   Sadly that isn't always good and not everyone wants to hear what I have to say. I don't know why!  Just kidding.  I am learning to be more compassionate and keeping my thoughts to myself and knowing that the truth or what I think the truth is not always suppose to be said.  

10.  You are not the only mom who feels as if she has no friends.

I love people and I love socializing.  But keeping friends is so hard for me.  I can be bossy...high strung.  I am really working on who I am and who I know God wants me to be.   God has placed a few woman in my life that I am so grateful for and I know he has a bundle more waiting in my future. 


11.  You are not the only mom who is struggling in her marriage.

OK...this is true!  I married and then remarried my ex husband!  LOL...for those who don't know the store just ask me sometime.  It is an entertaining story.  But I do have to say the 2nd time marrying is so much better.  Oh we do have our issues and we will always but my heart has more compassion, less anger and more love!  

12.  You are not the only mom who has dealt with depression.

So good to know.  This is something I have dealt with my whole life.  I grew up around people and still have people (my husband and others) that don't really fully understand or believe in depression.  This makes getting help or healing so hard.  But with so much hard work, a great councilor and God I am healing.  I think depression is going to be something I face and struggle with but I have tools to guide me through them.  

13.  You are not the only mom facing conflict in her marriage about sex or money.

Ok...am I think only woman that plans to have sex with her husband?  TRUTH PLEASE!  There really isn't too many SPONTANEOUS moments.  Please give me feedback!  Don't blush ladies!  

14.  You are not the only mom who has a difficult child or a wayward teenager.

I have a child with ADHD and a child that really struggles with speech.  Frustration happened but we get through them and we grow from each struggle or difficult moment!  

15.  You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband is addicted to pornography.

I don't think he....eeek...I hope he isn't! But I know of many woman that deal with this in their marriages and I listen to the struggles.  I know they have to place it in Gods hands!  

16.  You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband has been unfaithful.

I pray that this isn't the case and honestly it sits in the back of my mind.  Once again I listen to friends that have been in situations like this that have broken them but then God brings them through it and I am so grateful for these woman and the strength they have showed me and taught me.  

17.  You are not the only mom who can’t seem to keep up with the laundry and the house.

This is good to know.  That is all that I have to say!  

18.  You are not the only mom who carries the title of “single mom.”

I was a single mom for about 7 years.  It was tough and man I struggled with bad choices, heart ache and pain.  But those 7 years taught me strength, will power, and how to stand with God and not on my own!  

19.  You are not the only mom who sometimes wants to run away.

I almost did this last night.  I was wondering how much gas was in the car and how far could I get.  One of those days where nothing was going right and nobody seemed to care.  But the feeling passed and well I am still here!  :)  
   

Wow...this brought up a lot of things I haven't thought of and things that weigh heavy on my heart.  I tend to babble when I get "nervous".  Revealing so much is hard but hey...I am an Imperfect Mom and I am ok with that!  Thank you Jill Savage for the list and for making me think and hopefully others think!