When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Selfish vs Selfless



Today the topic of being selfish and selfless!  This blog isn't going to be much more than information we found! I wanted the kids to sit on this information and really let it soak in before we discussed it in full.  

 So we (the kids and I) went to the iPad and looked up the definitions.

Definition of SELFISH
1:  concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2: arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others <a selfish act>

Definition of SELFLESS
1: having no concern for self : unselfish


Ok...after that we decided to see what the bible had to say now we knew what the meaning of the words were!  

James 3:14-16 ESV
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV 
Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Proverbs 18:1 ESV
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

Acts 20:35 ESV
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Luke 21:1-4 ESV 
Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

John 3:16 ESV
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.


Then I found some great quotes!  











                                                         WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?






Monday, May 6, 2013

Teacher Appreciation





This week is TeacherAppreciation week.  Teachers canbe a touchy subject.  It is almost liketalking about politics.  Like politiciansthere are ones that are great at their job and ones that are there for a paycheck.  But this is not why I am writingtonight. I am writing to express my gratitude to those teachers who love thefuture generations, who educate them, who show patience, who show hope and whotake their jobs as serious and important as their jobs are!! 

Instead of naming all of the teachers I am so grateful forwhy not write all their characteristics I am so grateful for! 

TeacherCharacteristics that I am grateful for!

 **These are characteristics that I myself have seen from my previous teachers or ones that teachers my children have had or have!**


I am thankful for teachers that have shown students to Embracing Life.  Showing students how to embrace life and lovelife! 

I am thankful for those teachers that have spent a great dealof time not only getting their students preparedfor not only the next grade but for the outside life.

I am thankful for those teachers that show compassion and love to their students.  This is so important and I love that I knowmy kids have teachers who care.

I am thankful for teachers who bring laughter and smiles to their student’s faces.  When my kids come home from school with joyon their face it really does bring joy to my life.  I think any parent would agree with that!

I am thankful for teachers whom have demonstrated and taughttheir students to be creative.  This is something that teachers in my children’slife have had to pull out of my kids.  CREATIVITY!  My kids struggle withthat and yes, they are boys so that is part of the problem but their teachershave always pushed them and showed them ways of being creative! 

I am thankful for teachers who have taught and live as anexample of how to admit and acceptmistakes.  This is a lifelesson.  I know that when they makemistakes at school they are learning to accept them and learn from them.  Their teachers talk through their mistakesand I am grateful for that. 

I am thankful for teachers who teach and live out forgiving and forgiveness.  Another life lesson that I teach at homebut they teach with their peers and with life situations.  When my oldest came home and said a teacher apologizedto him after mistake they made.  He wasreally impacted by an adult apologizing for their wrong doings.  He obviously forgave that teacher but thiswas a lesson of asking for forgiveness and forgiving! 

I am thankful for teachers who not only expect respect butthey give respect to others.  They teach respect of all types.  Teaching a child respect is a communityeffort.  It starts at home but it istaught even more at school. When a teacher demonstrates respect to theirstudents it is a lifelong lesson to them. I am so grateful for the teachers in my kid’s life that show respectthey deserve but also expect the respect back. 

I am thankful for teachers who show their students that learning can be fun and so important

I am thankful for teachers who show students how to set goals and reach them. 

I am thankful for teachers who know every child is different.  Eachof my children has an IEPs and they are completely different.  To treat one child the same as the other wouldbe setting them up for failure.  My kidshave been blessed with people that have been able to teach to the whole classbut also know each child’s strengths and weaknesses. 

I am thankful for teachers who teach each child according to that child’s needs. 

I am thankful for teachers who encourage and keep encouraging. 

I am thankful for teachers who are willing to take risks! 

I am thankful for teachers who are flexible!

I am thankful for teachers who are patient.  By showing patience 
they are teaching patience. 

I am thankful for teachers who think outside the box. Bringing new learning techniques to the “table” and accepting newtechniques!

I am thankful for teachers who want to have a relationship with the parents!  I know that this is so important to me and Iknow to have a successful school year(s) the relationship between the parent,student and teacher is so important!  Iam so grateful for those teachers who have really reached out and accepted mywant to have a relationship. 

I am thankful for teachers who are confident and confident in what they teach!

I am thankful for teachers who are fair!  Knowing favoritism isnot for the classroom.  No matter whomyou are, where you come from, what your strengths are or what your weaknessesare these students are HUMANS!  I am sograteful that my children get to experience that! 

I am thankful for teachers who hold my children accountable for their actions. 

I am thankful for teachers who listen and not just talk! Knowing my kids can talk to their teachers and feel safe is such acomfort! 

I am thankful for teachers who are trustworthy. This is a good example for my kids and also a comfortfor them and me. 

I am thankful for teachers who don’t hyper-focus on only the testresults but the quality of teachingthey give. 
  
I am so grateful for all these qualities and I am so blessedthat my family has had teachers in their lives that have demonstrated so manyof these qualities!  To be a teacher iseasy to be an AMAZING teacher is hard!  ITHANK my teachers from the past and my children’s teachers that take teachingfrom a job to a JOURNEY!  THANK YOU for all you have done and represented.  THANK YOU for taking your job seriously andteaching with purpose!  THANK YOU fortaking the time and energy to make the next generation all they can be!!  


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Fighting Fairly





Oh how these words I write and then I will need to reread 10000 times!  Fighting fair in a marriage/relationship is hard.  Well, I guess it isn't for everyone but when you are as competitive as my husband and I are fighting fair is TOUGH!  Little digs in an argument to get a notch up on the other person or a word that comes out of your mouth that slams the other person.  Oh how easy it is to do and how we all want to win the fights.  I was told once that if you are fighting with your spouse and someone wins that means you both loose.  You are a team and one person can't win!  I love to remember that and I do but of course like everything else I fall short big time of what I know I should be at!  So I dig into God's word and other studies to see some helpful reminders and lessons I could learn!  Here is what I found out and of course my thoughts.  !  

*Plain text is my thoughts and bold is from a site/reference. 

1. Know your own feelings.  Know if you are angry or sad and learn to deal with those feelings in a mature way.(www.foryourmarriage.com)
This is tough.  Identifying those crazy feelings we have and then learning to deal with them.  

2. Cooling off periods. (www.foryourmarriage.com)
Oh how I need to learn to take this time.  Stepping back from a situation and not just ACTING on it! I am an impulsive person and this trait of mine is not good when it comes to fighting/arguments because of I want to attack the issue and doing it all fired up isn't going to solve anything.  

3. No degrading language.  (www.nathoncobb.com)
We are adults and we need to act like adults.  Throwing in names that put down the one you are suppose to love and cherish is below the belt and not fair EVER!  

4. Don't fight after you have been drinking!(www.foryourmarriage.com)
That is obviously not a good time to hash out some of the issues of life!  

5. Respect crying (www.foryourmarriage.com)
Crying is ok!  This is sometimes hard for men to understand because they tend to not drop a tear fast like us woman do!  But it is an emotion and it is ok when a man or woman drop some tears during an fight.  

6. Keep your fights between your spouse and yourself. (www.foryourmarriage.com)
If you need to talk about it talk to a good councilor!  When you get others involved that are "one sided" it gets messy.  Respect your spouse and keep the fights in the relationship or with someone you both agree to talk to!  

7.  LISTEN (www.strongmarriage.org)
LOL....seems simple but isn't it tough when you think your points are correct and you think the other person is wrong before they even talk!  Zip It and LISTEN!

8. No Blaming (www.nathoncobb.com)
This is easy to do.  I am a good finger pointer.  But this last few years I am trying my hardest to only point at myself.  If I can't lift someone up I shut up!  Oh how I fail at this!  Pointing at someone else is way easier then pointing at myself!  

9.  No Yelling (www.nathoncobb.com)
I like to think in a fight I have to talk louder to get my point across but that isn't true at all.  My husband shuts out anything I have to say when I raise my voice.  This is the same with my kids and anyone else.  This isn't helping me at all getting things resolved.  

10.  This is our rule!  NO TALK ABOUT DIVORCE!  We don't even say the word.  It is the D word and it isn't a good world EVER!  We took a vow and with this bad word off the table it takes away unneeded conflict.  

11.  Define yourself not your spouse. (www.nathoncobb.com)
I have never thought about this.  You are the expert of your world not your spouses!  Just chew on that statement!  

12.  Stay in the present (www.nathoncobb.com)
Bringing up the past always gets me in trouble.  The thing he says "when will you get over that!?"  It is true I can hold on to something so stupid way to long.  Letting go just as God has done for us is what I need to do.  I am so grateful to have a God in my life that forgives me and shows grace.  God wants us to do that to others.  So note to self whatever is in the past is in the past!  Leave it be!  

13.  Face each other. (www.engagedmarriage.com)
Look into your spouses eyes.  

14.  Ignore other distractions. (www.engagedmarriage.com)
Ignore phone, door, computer.  Tell the kids to go to another room!  Make sure it is just you two!  

15.  There is a time limit (www.drphil.com)
We shouldn't be fighting long.  My husband and I are good at that I believe.  We fight and then move on but that doesn't mean we have solved the issue at hand.  So technically we are dragging it on by covering it up temporarily   

16.  Face the fear of confrontation (www.lifetoolsforwoman.com)
I don't have this problem and wish I did sometimes.  But I do have family and friends that I know would rather stew in the issue than to actually face the issue.  

17.  Avoid generalization (www.lifetoolsforwoman.com)
Example:  Using the word ALWAYS.  You always do this!  But really always?  We need to stick with SPECIFIC examples. 

18.  Start a sentence with "I feel" instead of "When you"!  (www.organiclovelife.com)
That is big and this is back to the pointing finger problem.  We can't get far and accomplish anything when we attack the other person.  

19.  Avoid sarcasm (www.organiclovelife.com)
I am not going to say anything about this and just reread it 1000 times.  

20.  Stay (www.organiclovelife.com)
Running away will never help the situation.  This brings more stress to the relationship and big messes to have to clean up.  My husband and I don't ever leave if we are fighting if we can help it.  We always so "What if we get in a car accident and we never resolved our issue and expressed our real love!"  

21.  Take responsibility for your actions.  (www.heartbeatradiousa.com)
Hard isn't it.  Easier when someone else is in the wrong and we can just let them take all the heat.  But that isn't truth and that isn't life.  We need to step up and take responsibility for ourselves.  We can only control our own behaviors.   So step up and take responsibility reactions.  

22.  Breath

23.  Stay Calm

24.  Pray--Having God in the center of your relationship is amazing but not every situation praying with a spouse is easy.  So pray.  Get Him involved at least on your end!  

25.  LOVE--Show love, speak with love and listen with love.  


What are some of your "rules" to fight fairly.  

Friday, April 12, 2013

What is a godly Mother look like to you?



What is a godly mother?  What characteristics does a godly mother have? I came up with a rough list of what I think a godly mother possesses.  Then I referenced the bible for most of them. 

Some characteristics of A GODLY MOTHER…

Loves her children
1 Corinthians 13:4-7;

Teaches her child to walk in on God’s path
Proverbs 22:6; II Timothy 3:15; Deuteronomy 6:7

Teachers her children the truth of God’s word
Deuteronomy 11:19; Proverbs 1:8; II Timothy 3:15; Proverbs 22:6; John 14:6; Deuteronomy 6:7

Teaches her child to obey God and all of his commandments
II Timothy 3:15; Proverbs 22:6

Honorable
Proverbs 31; 2 Corinthians 8:21; Philippians 4:8-9

Blesses her children daily
1 Peter 4:8; Psalm 5:12; Luke 6:38

Encourages her child
 Proverbs 12:18; Proverbs 18:21

Prays for and with her children
1 Samuel 1:9-16; James 1:2-4

Leads by example
1 Timothy 4:12; Titus 2:7

Protective
Exodus 2:1-9; Ephesians 6:11

Loyal
 John 19:25

Keeps her promises
1 Samuel 1:21-28

Praises the Lord
1 Samuel 2:1-2; Psalm 150:1-6; Psalm 100:1-5; Psalm 136:1-26

Provides the needs of her children, not just physical but emotional and spiritual 2 Corinthians 12:14; Psalm 127:3-5

Shows unconditional love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Psalm 113:9; Titus 2:4; John 15:13; Galatians 5:22-23

Disciplines them
Proverbs 23:13-14; Proverbs 19:18; Proverbs 29:15; Ephesians 6:4

Involves her children in God’s ministry
Hebrews 10:25

Trustworthy
Proverbs 31; Psalm 15:1, 4

Confident
2 Corinthians 5:8

Respectful and worthy of respect
Matthew 7:21; Romans 12:10; Philippians 2:3; 1 Peter 2:17

Puts her hope, faith and future in God’s hands
Luke 1:38; 2 Corinthians 12:9

Speaks with love and truth
Proverbs 31:26; Ephesians 4:29; 1 John 4:1; James 1:19; Galatians 5:22-23

Not selfish but sacrificial
Proverbs 31; 1 Kings 3:16-18; Galatians 5:22-23

Will not allow her family step on the path of wickedness

Loves and respects her Husband
Ephesians 5:22-33; Proverbs 31; 1 Corinthians 14:35

Submit to their husbands by being pure and respectful
1 Peter 3:1-2; Titus 2:5; Proverbs 31; Ephesians 5:22-24

Surrounds herself around positive and Godly woman but that doesn’t stop her from reaching out to the lost
Proverbs 17:17

Opens heart and home to others
1 Timothy 5:10

Does not show favoritism
Proverbs 28:21

Knows her children are a gift and treats them as one
Psalm 127:3-5; Deut. 7:14; 33:24; 127:3

Grateful
Proverbs 11:16; Luke 6:35

Fears the Lord
2 Corinthians 7:1; Luke 1:50; Deuteronomy 5:29; Proverbs 28:14

Shows mercy
James 2:13; Matthew 5:7; Hebrews 4:16

Faces problems head on
1 Samuel 1:1-8; John 16:33; 2 Timothy 3:12

Shows grace
Colossians 4:6; 1 Peter 4:10; Romans 11:6

Self control and modesty
1 Timothy 2:9; Titus 2:5; Proverbs 31; Galatians 5:22-23

Builds her home on wisdom Proverbs 14:1; James 1:5; James 3:17

Speaks wisdom
Proverbs 31:26; 1 Corinthians 2:1-16; James 1:5

Faithful
Proverbs 31; Galatians 5:22-23

Hardworking
Proverbs 31:15; 2 Timothy 2:1-26; Matthew 28:19; Revelation 1:4

Generous
Proverbs 31; Luke 6:35; Luke 12:33; Acts 20:35

Nurturing
1 Thessalonians 2:7; Galatians 5:22-23; Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21

Caring and Compassionate
Proverbs 31:20; Galatians 5:22-23; Ephesians 4:32; Galatians 6:2


What are your thoughts?  What am I missing?  

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Perfect Mommy Friends?


We are on Chapter 6 in our No More Perfect Mom study.  This chapter is called No More Perfect Friends. I tend to be a broken record when it comes to this book but I LOVE IT!! 

I am going to start off by paraphrasing Jill’s Mommy Manners.  They are great!

*When you go to someone’s house and you bring your kiddos make sure you help clean up their toys before they leave.  This is not only a great lesson for your kids in responsibility and respect but it shows your hostess respect too. 

*If you are in a public place or a quiet place and your child starts to fuss or starts being a little louder, take a minute and walk out of the area.  Allow your child to settle down before you go back.  This is just respectful for everyone around you. 

*You baby decides to dirty their diaper while you are visiting someone’s house.  Do not leave the stinky diaper in their trash can.  You can do one of two things that is way more respectful.  1. Carry a plastic bag that you can put it in and then dispose of it later.  2. Ask for the location of the outdoor garbage to dispose of it. 

*After someone has a baby, give her a call when you are at the store and offer to pick up any basic family needs.  Example; milk, eggs, or eggs. 

*Always RSVP promptly to invitations that your children receive.  No matter if it is a Yes or No!

*Offer to pay for gas when sharing a ride to your children’s out of town sporting events.

*Offer to hold a door open for a mom that is going into a store with a stroller. 

*Be the first to wave when you are walking or driving down your street. 

*If your kids and a neighbor’s kid is going to the same even, offer to take them.

*When your child has someone spend the night make sure their shoes, bag and sleeping bag are 
ready and by the door when the parents come and pick them up. 

*When you go over to someone’s house for a lunch play date make sure you offer to bring the 
lunch, snack, drinks or whatever else to make things easier on the hostess. 

*Respect other mom’s way of doing things.  She may not do them the way you do and that is ok.

*Do not interrupt another mom’s story.  Let her talk.  If she needs to vent, let her.  LISTEN! 

*If you have two children that are close to the same age and one child gets an invitation to do something with another child.  Do not assume that the other child can tag along. 

*Remember how you act…little eyes are watching. 

***These were paraphrased by me but I love her rules she presents.  Oh how we forget basics.

I was thinking about all the mommy manners and then I was thinking about how relationships in our lives (mommy relationships) can be so hard. Think about it. We go through our school age years worrying about what other girls think.  Trying to fit in, trying to be one of the girls in a group.  Then we become adult and we still are trying to figure out where we fit in with other woman.  But those years we are only trying to fit in.  Now I have two kids in tow and my mommy ways are being criticized or watched.  So I have 10 times more stress when trying to develop friendships with other moms. 

Being a mom now for almost 11 years I have had my frustrations developing friendships with moms.  I always blamed other mom’s because hey that is the easy thing to do.  Now almost 11 years into this I finally realized what I was doing wrong.  Yes, I was being JUDGMENTAL.  My expectations were too high and my ways I thought should be everyone else’s ways.  The day I decided to just throw out my expectations, throw away my dreams of finding a mom that parents the way I do, open my mind, open my heart, show some grace and just be patient I started to make friends.  When I did this I thought it was going to be easy but I have to constantly remind myself to get rid of the crap in my head or heart.  We are all human and God created each one of us different for a reason.  He has given us free will.  So I may parent or act one way and someone other mommy the complete opposite and that is OK! 

I was then thinking about “mommy” groups that are around us and honestly a lot of them are intimidating.  I think the most intimidating “mommy group” is the PTO.  LOL…yes I am in this “group” and yes I still have moments I feel uncomfortable but PTO allowed me to step out of my comfort zone.  I started going to PTO meetings last year and I was terrified.  When I walked in I compared myself to the other mom’s and really put myself down.  I was doing the “Comparing someone’s outsides to my insides!”   Trust me my insides felt like crap and everyone else was looking pretty good to me.  But I also knew that if I just pushed all of my feelings to the side that this would be a great place to start a new community of mommy friendships in my life.  I was right.  It is my messy feelings or insecurities and my high expectations that put a halt on any and all friendships that could potentially be developed. 

So here is what I want to challenge all you mommies out there. 

*Get rid of your expectations! 

*Understand that you parent your way because you love your family and know what is best for them.  I parent my way because I love my family and know what is best for them.  The lady down the street parents her way because she loves her family and knows what is best for them.

*Do something.  Get out of your comfort zone!  Step out.  In Jill’s words “add more friends to your friend bank!”

* Ask a mom and her kids that you haven’t hung out with before to the park for a “mini” play date. 

*Send a card to a mommy.  An encouraging card! 

*Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. 

*Find a new walking buddy!


Put yourself out there.  Make a new friend this week.  Jill says in her book;

“Friendships are an important part in mothering. We desperately need each other.”

Thursday, February 21, 2013

NMPM

Hello Everyone!  I have been missing in action I know.  I have been sick with everything under the sun and it hasn't been fun. I have been trying to keep up with the No More Perfect Moms (NMPM) facebook page and also the bible studies.  I just neglected blogging completely.   I have been so excited to finally start the new bible study this week!  We are reading No More Perfect Mom's by Jill Savage.   I have read it about a month or so ago and have been antsy waiting for all you mommies to read it.

NMPM is really close to my heart.  Not only it is a great book but it is a life changing movement.  


+ Accepting yourself and others for who they are.

+ Being filled with Joy instead of judgement.

+ Relationships growing with not only other mom's but with your kids and husband.

+ Being able to look at other mom's and not compare their outsides to your insides.

+ Accepting imperfection

+ Honesty

+ Fake free!

+ Knowing that perfection is only found in God

+ Seeing life in a whole new way because we aren't trying to perfect everything- we are living

+ Opening up about life and the truths

+ A community is being built of mom's who accept each other!

+ Knowing that we can't control life!

+ A sense of Peace within ourselves

+ Knowing your way is right for you and your family.  Your way may not and probably isn't right for another mom's family.  That is ok.  We accept that.

+ How my hair is done, how clean my house is or how my kids behave DOES NOT DEFINE ME!

+ We are able to replace JUDGEMENT with GRACE!


Well, that is just a few things that have changed my life and other woman that have gone through the journey of NMPM!  

The facebook page https://www.facebook.com/NoMorePerfectMoms.NMPM give us an opportunity to laugh at our imperfections and grow together.  We want this to go all over and we want our communities overflow with NMPM!   As of 2/21/13 we have 55 mom's from 9 different States or Providences.  



We need to spread and we need to BAN together!!  






So who is in this with me?  



Friday, February 8, 2013

Mom's 2 Seconds of your time!!

Can you MOMMIES please spend 1 minute of your time and do this survey!!  THANK YOU!!

Be honest PLEASE!


Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

19 Tough Situations Moms Go Through

Jill Savage write in a blog of hers 19 Tough Situations Moms Go Through.  I really wanted to get candid and explore these 19 Situations.

1.  You are not the only mom who feels worthless sometimes. 

Wow feel this daily.  Some may call it a pity party but you know when you get into such a routine and you get into a "rut"  you just feel like what is my point.  I know what a great attitude but sometimes I just get to that point I feel worthless.  Honestly I always thought I felt I am the only mom.  But just recently mommies have been opening up around me and bringing down the "perfect mommy" walls we have all built for the world to see.  Mommies have been honest and shown that we aren't perfect and we do have these feelings!!  

2. You are not the only mom who yelled at your children today.

OH this isn't me!  hahaha!!  Well, there are times I hope the neighbors don't hear me!  I have two boys and sometimes my voice, you know the sweet mommy voice just doesn't get through to them.  Yeah so I have the "Daddy" voice too!  It may be very effective at the time but I always feel like crap after using it.  But man those boys in my life can defiantly push me to a whole new level and quick!  

3.  You are not the only mom who is trying to blend two families into one and finding it far more difficult than you thought.

This may not be every mom.  Not everyone one knows this is my family.  We are semi blended.  I bring in a child into the mix.  It brings it challenges and its frustrations.  The first few years were not fun because I tried to control the situation.  Yeah I have learned that if I try to control a situation I usually FAIL!  I finally gave the situation and the relationships up to GOD and man He defiantly has better plans and ways of doing things.  Since giving it to God things have changed so much and for the better.  Don't be fooled it can be tough but I have God in the driver seat.  

4.  You are not the only mom who wishes her husband would just hold her and listen to her.

How nice would it be to listen to.  I talk and then he says "Oh what was that?"  HAHAHA!  This makes me laugh so hard when he says that.  Well, not really laugh but wanting to pounce on him with frustration.  I usually take about 10 deep breaths and either walk away or yes I sometimes say it again in a little bit louder huskier way.     

5. You are not the only mom who isn't making enough money to make ends meet.

I am at home watching one kid right now hopefully two very soon.  We are making it but I wish I was helping my family more.  I want to do so much for these 3 boys in my life and when I feel like I fall short I feel as though I am not only failing them but myself.  I know that it is so weird and uncomfortable to talk about this with others or with friends but I know that a lot of mom's do feel this way and we do struggle with this.  Opening up and talking, relating with others can make the storm within calm a bit.  

6.  You are not the only mom who constantly battles a weight issue.

OK...I will tell you all honestly that weight issues have been a problem.  Yeah you look at me and say WHATEVER.  I get that.  But I dealt with an eating disorder for years.  Then finally after my 2nd baby I hit ideal weight.  But now ideal weight feels yucky to me.  I tend to binge eat then to make myself feel better and then I feel horrible about myself.  So really it is a viscous cycle.  Really I am ok with my weight now.  I just want to "tone" everything!  I jiggle a lot and I am grateful when clothes keep it confined.  But then when I do have time to exersises I am tired.  I don't want to.  I have no motivation.  So then I don't and that is when the next vicious cycle happens.  Oh how these cycles are crazy!  

7.  You are not the only mom who struggles with your faith and understanding God.

My husband is not a believer so I feel I fall easily.  Sometimes I don't get why God doesn't shake my husband or at least hit him with a spiritual 2x4!  I struggle with understanding the "why me's" or the "what nows".   I know God's plan is so much bigger than I can imagine but placing my life in His hands can be tough at times.  But I know that when I fall God is the one I can count on and I need to remember that no matter what!  

8.  You are not the only mom who is critical of her husband.

I hope my husband doesn't read this blog.  I am so critical of him.  I am so hard on him and man I think he should be just like me.  Think like me, act like me and want things done like me.   I guess that is kind of an unfair way of thinking.  I know I know..."DUH, Stacey!"  I am getting better at not saying my critiques or thoughts but oh how badly I fail.  I really am grateful for him.  He loves me, he loves my kids, he goes to work everyday and work hard at a job he hates.  He coaches all of our kids sports and he truly is a good man but I am pretty good at finding those flaws!  I need to remember to be grateful and accept him for the man he is.  

9.  You are not the only mom who has said something to a friend that you later regretted.

All I have to say is I say what I think.   Sadly that isn't always good and not everyone wants to hear what I have to say. I don't know why!  Just kidding.  I am learning to be more compassionate and keeping my thoughts to myself and knowing that the truth or what I think the truth is not always suppose to be said.  

10.  You are not the only mom who feels as if she has no friends.

I love people and I love socializing.  But keeping friends is so hard for me.  I can be bossy...high strung.  I am really working on who I am and who I know God wants me to be.   God has placed a few woman in my life that I am so grateful for and I know he has a bundle more waiting in my future. 


11.  You are not the only mom who is struggling in her marriage.

OK...this is true!  I married and then remarried my ex husband!  LOL...for those who don't know the store just ask me sometime.  It is an entertaining story.  But I do have to say the 2nd time marrying is so much better.  Oh we do have our issues and we will always but my heart has more compassion, less anger and more love!  

12.  You are not the only mom who has dealt with depression.

So good to know.  This is something I have dealt with my whole life.  I grew up around people and still have people (my husband and others) that don't really fully understand or believe in depression.  This makes getting help or healing so hard.  But with so much hard work, a great councilor and God I am healing.  I think depression is going to be something I face and struggle with but I have tools to guide me through them.  

13.  You are not the only mom facing conflict in her marriage about sex or money.

Ok...am I think only woman that plans to have sex with her husband?  TRUTH PLEASE!  There really isn't too many SPONTANEOUS moments.  Please give me feedback!  Don't blush ladies!  

14.  You are not the only mom who has a difficult child or a wayward teenager.

I have a child with ADHD and a child that really struggles with speech.  Frustration happened but we get through them and we grow from each struggle or difficult moment!  

15.  You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband is addicted to pornography.

I don't think he....eeek...I hope he isn't! But I know of many woman that deal with this in their marriages and I listen to the struggles.  I know they have to place it in Gods hands!  

16.  You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband has been unfaithful.

I pray that this isn't the case and honestly it sits in the back of my mind.  Once again I listen to friends that have been in situations like this that have broken them but then God brings them through it and I am so grateful for these woman and the strength they have showed me and taught me.  

17.  You are not the only mom who can’t seem to keep up with the laundry and the house.

This is good to know.  That is all that I have to say!  

18.  You are not the only mom who carries the title of “single mom.”

I was a single mom for about 7 years.  It was tough and man I struggled with bad choices, heart ache and pain.  But those 7 years taught me strength, will power, and how to stand with God and not on my own!  

19.  You are not the only mom who sometimes wants to run away.

I almost did this last night.  I was wondering how much gas was in the car and how far could I get.  One of those days where nothing was going right and nobody seemed to care.  But the feeling passed and well I am still here!  :)  
   

Wow...this brought up a lot of things I haven't thought of and things that weigh heavy on my heart.  I tend to babble when I get "nervous".  Revealing so much is hard but hey...I am an Imperfect Mom and I am ok with that!  Thank you Jill Savage for the list and for making me think and hopefully others think!