When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Turning 30

I turn 30 years old in about 29 days.  So this means cram session!!  Ok, you probably don’t know what I am talking about and most of you will think I am nuts.  So buckle up and try to understand.  I feel when I say I am in my twenties that means I am still learning.  My errors are because of lack of experience, life lessons and so forth.  When I turn 30 I feel I should have direction.   A little bit of life knowledge but obviously life is always a learning experience and when I turn 30 it isn’t going to make me a master of life.  Look at it this way…

O to 1 years- Infant and Babies-
                Starting to develop bonds and figuring out the people whom will be taking care of us.

2 to 5 years- Toddlers/Preschoolers-
                New phrases come out of our mouths, new adventures, walking, running.  We get told NO   a lot at this age.   We are growing fast and really checking out everything around us.

6 to 12 years- School Aged-
                We figure out what we like to do.  We start going to school daily building friendships outside of our families.  We are learning about our morals and we are getting a taste of independence.  We really learn about natural consequences for our actions and we hopefully learn from them.

13 to 18 years- Adolescents/Teens-
                This is a challenging part.  This is when we realize more about our peers.  How they play a part in our lives.  We learning about pressures of the world and we crave a whole new level of independence.  We can start to grow in different ways and have a different confidence levels developed.  We are preparing for our futures and we really don’t get how important that is.

19-23 years- Young adult/College Years-
                We feel invincible, learning really who we are outside a controlled environment (high school). We have total freedom but freedom that can come with big consequences if we choose wrong paths. We learn even more about the distractions of the world.  We really are focusing on what we want to do next. 

24-29 years- Ironing out some kinks-
                This is the years we are really ironing out all those kinks of life.  Trying to pave a path for tour future.  Taking our independence and responsibilities seriously.  Still tripping a lot but trying to figure out where we really fit into this adult world. 

Ok…I am going to be 30….now what.  I think I should know how to problem solve a little easier.  My BIG Errors in judgment should come fewer and farther apart.  I should probably have my act together in general!  So now I reflect on that.  I asked a lady the other day, 78 years young, what I need to know before I turn thirty and she tells me…

“The same things I need to learn and go over before I turn 80. 
What is important to you?  What do you feel proud of?  Are you happy?  Is God your CENTER?  If you can answer those then you know all you can. 
The rest you will learn as you go.
 Good Luck lil lady. ”

I loved hearing that.  There is no time table.  Nobody says by 30 you need to have 2 kids, 2 cars, a home with 4 bedrooms and 2 baths.  You need to have a career that brings in large amount of money and you should be successful.   We put all of that stress on ourselves.  So this is what I know going into my 30th year of life! 

1.       I love God
I have lost Him so many times but He always knows where I am at.  He loves me to a degree I cannot even imagine.  God has so much grace, love, patience and wants nothing more for us to accept this gift He has presented us that we don’t even deserve! 

2.       I don’t take easy paths
I defiantly don’t take easy paths but that is my story.  I have learned from life and grown.  I can say even though I have been through some rocky times I have also been blessed by all those rocky roads.  I am stronger, more confident and have so much more compassion because of the paths I have taken.  I have learned that those paths shouldn't be taken more than once.  Sometimes I learned that when I took that path again but I have learned that!!

3.       My family ROCKS
I have a husband I love tons and 2 amazing boys.  They are blessings and challenges all in one and I am so grateful for them!  Having this family has been a learning process and has grown me in so many ways.  I know 10 years ago I am not the same mother and wife as I am now.

4.       Family means the world to me
Ups and downs/left to right family is family.  I have learned boundaries, restraint and to love good and bad of everyone. 

5.       How I view myself
This is a learning process.  I use to spend so many hours a day putting on a front.  Or like I have heard someone say before, putting on my stage face!   I wanted people to accept me.  But by doing this I was focusing myself completely on everyone else’s thoughts.  This made no sense.  So today I work on just being secure with myself.  Loving me and knowing that I am trying to the best ME there is! 

6.       How the world views me.  
                I spent my 20’s learning that that fakeness I put out there is lies. I always compared my craziness with someone’s stage face!  That can’t happen and I work on that daily to act the same when my doors are shut in my home and when I am out at Wal-Mart.  I promise you I fail at this all the time but I need to make sure I am aware and strive to better that part of myself.  I will show the world the best Stacey Tompkins there is because that is all I got.  J

7.       Being Content
This is the biggest blessing; Feeling content with life!  Not wanting.  Knowing the difference between want and need.  Knowing that God wants us to be content and being able to live that out. 

8.       Being grateful
Not taking advantage of any situation.  Embracing all of life and what blessings and trials have came my way.  Knowing life and the materials we have are a gift and we have been blessed by them.  Family, home churches, homes, cars, food and all in between are truly a gift. 

9.       Love
How to love in a way that God wants us to.  I fail at this but it holds me accountable! 

Those are just 9 of a thousand things I really learned and grew in over the last ten years.  I reread that list and realized she was right.  These are things we will relearn, reevaluate and practice years and years to come.  None of these things I have mastered and 10 years from now when I am thinking about turning 40 I will be thinking about how much I have learning in those some categories as I just did for 30.  So maybe cram session is not needed.  Which is good because I don’t know how much time I have for that but life at any age are just a gradually learning, relearning and rearranging.    

So basically I am going to throw out the whole first section of this blog.  I need to not think, “I need my life completely together” and “I need to know this and that” but know that I am happy and I am growing as a person.  I have an amazing family and hopefully many years ahead of me.