When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Fun day Friday!

Signs for your kitchen

1. So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
2. Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
3. Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
4. I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
5. If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
6. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
7. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
8. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
9. If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.
10. Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
11. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.
12. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
13. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
14. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
15. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
16. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
17. My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
18. I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Mommy Dictionary

  1. DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
  2. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
  3. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
  4. FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
  5. GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
  6. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
  7. IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
  8. INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
  9. OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
  10. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
  11. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
  12. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
  13. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
  14. TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
  15. VERBAL: able to whine in words
  16. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...