When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Forgiving

Jesus would never tell you to forgive and
 to love your enemies without empowering you to do it.  
~~June Hunt~~



Webster Definintion of Forgive:

a.  to give up resentment of or claim to requital- forgive insult
b.  to grant relief from payment of- forgive debt
c.  to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) pardon- forgive one's enemies



Reading a book by June Hunt, the bible and bits and pieces from random sites online...here we go!



What does God say about Forgiveness?

Be kind and compassionate to one another, 
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  
Ephesians 4:32

Bear with each other and forgive one another
if any of you has a grievance against someone.  
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 
Colossians 3:13

If anyone, then, knows the 
good they ought to do
and doesn't do it, it is sin for them. 
James 4:17

Blessed are the merciful, 
for they will be shown mercy. 
Matthew 5:7

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone. 
Romans 12:18

Do not be overcome by evil,
but overcome evil with GOOD!
Romans 12:21

All this is from God, 
who reconciled us to himself through 
Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 
that God was reconciling the world to himself in
Christ, not counting people's sin against them.  And 
he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 
2 Corinthians 5:18-19


Side note...when I talk about debt I am using it as a term for any wrong doing done to one person that forgiveness is needed for!  Examples; treating someone badly, insults, wrong doing to someone.  

June Hunt mentioned that in the word FORGIVE their is a very important word.  GIVE!!  To give is a gift. Forgiving can not only be a gift for the person whom you relieve of "debt" but it will be a gift to yourself.  A gift of freedom from grudge. 


Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, 
but love your neighbor as yourself.  
Leviticus 19:18


Now how to FORGIVE...

1.  Face it head on

     This is when you acknowledge what has happened or may not have happened.  Look at the truth in the situation and don't mix up what really happened with what you think happened.  If you do mix it up the process of forgiving with be broken. 
  • Don't make the "debt" smaller than it was.  No "debt" is ok.  
    • "It doesn't matter how bad she hurt me.  It is ok."

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, 
but rather expose them. 
Ephesians 5:11

  • Do not excuse the behavior.  
    • "He didn't mean to hurt me, he just gets upset and because he loves me he takes it out on me." 

Whoever says to the guilty, 
"You are innocent," will be cursed by peoples
and denounced by nations.  
Proverbs 24:24

  • Just because someone forgives does NOT mean the forgiveness is in full!  
    • "I forgave at the time it happened"  
    • A lot of people forgive fast because of guilt.  
Yet you desired faithfulness even int he womb;
you taught me wisdom in the secret place.  
Psalm 51:6

2.  Feel the "debt"

     You have to acknowledge the anger.   Now sometimes you even have to bring out the hatred.  Not all hatred is wrong...

There is a time for, and a season for every activity
under heaven...a time to live and time to hate."
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8

     If you do not acknowledged the wrong doing then you can not forgive!  
  • Denial
    • "She made fun of me, it is ok, it didn't really hurt me.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  
Psalm 34:18

  • Carrying untrue feelings
    • "I feel really bad when I hate someone for what they have done to me!"
To fear the LORD is to hate evil;
I hate pride and arrogance evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 8:13

3.   Forgive the person

     God tells us to forgive.  When you do forgive you not only feel free from the weight of it all but you become closer to God.  

  • Forgiveness isn't always a feeling it is an action.  It is a choice.  
When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone,
 forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins"
Mark 11:25

  • You can't count on yourself when it comes on forgiving you have to have the guidance of God.  
His Divine power has give us everything we need for life and 
godliness through our knowledge 
of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  
2 Peter 1:3

  • Forgiveness isn't always fair!  God is just and He will make sure it is done but in His time not ours.  
Do not take revenge, my friends, 
but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written:
"it is mine to avenge; I will repay" says the Lord.
Romans 12:19

  • You can not control others.  You can only control yourself and the way your react to others.  
Peter came to Jesus and asked, 
"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my 
brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?"  
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy seven times."  
Matthew 18:21-22

  • Just because you forgive does not mean you will forget.  But in the future you may choose different routes for different outcomes.  
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward
what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win
the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 3:13-14

3.  Find unity/oneness when appropriate 

     This is talking about building the relationship up again.  Reconcile.  

  • Make sure all parties have taken responsibility for what they have done wrong.  
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them find mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

  • Is everyone being truthful
The integrity of the upright guides them,
but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
Proverbs 11:3

  • Is the outcome--apology one of the world or one of God? 
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret,
but worldly sorry brings death.  See what godly sorrow has produced in you:
 what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation,
what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.
 At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
2 Corinthians 7:10-11


 Sometimes developing a relationship or reconcile is not what you should do!  

  • Adulterous; rapist; repeat offender
  • Abuser
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,
Proverbs 22:24



In the end we need to pray and we need to understand that
God wants the best for us and we need to follow His "guidelines" and His will!  
Forgiving someone is a freeing act!!