When life handed me a Canadian Husband, Two Energetic Kids and a Dog with ADHD,
I made myself some Organized Chaos!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Dating

"On your next date, think about your future mate
and apply God's Golden Rule:
Do unto your date what you would have someone do to your mate!
----June Hunt

Research and more research about this topic!  This is what I have came up with as my final answer about Christian Dating!!!  All of this information is from the web, bible and several books!  So buckle up...Here we go!!


Characteristics that you should be looking for in the opposite sex.  NO PARTICULAR ORDER!

1. God is at the top of their priorities.
2. They have an active Bible study and prayer life!
3. Their heart is to do what is best for you!
4. They demonstrate wisdom and discernment
5. They know right from wrong.
6. They would refuse to use you or others for status gain.
7. They should display the fruits of the spirit.  Galatians 5:22
8. They have approval of the significant people in your life.
9. The are pure.
10. Do they have leadership? Especially if it is a male.
11. The are teachable
12. They have a reputation for keeping commitments.
13. They have a track record of following through when it comes to obligations.
14. They show respect to authority
15. They are honest
16. They are forgiving
17. Positive outlook on life.
18. The are whole
19. They exercise self control and discipline.
20. Manage money well.
21. They have similar interest.
22. Maintain eye contact while talking to others.
23. They are a good listener
24. You have similar goals.
25. They interact with others in a positive manner.


Ok...I am laughing at my list.  This is a pretty great person that I have listed!  Now that list can help you but it can hurt you too.  Remember we are human and perfection is not something we can accomplish.  So if the other person does not demonstrate all 25 or things on you "list" then don't automatically give them the boot.  Are expectations need to be striving for a closer relationship with God!  Does this person hurt or help you with that!?


Developing a Godly dating foundation.  

1. Be wise
      Ask God for...
          wisdom
          guard your heart
          help in decision making
          to confirm our choices
          peace

2. Be real
      You want to get to know the other person and as they want to get to know you.  BE REAL!

3. Be honest
      Don't go along with whatever just because.
      Don't cave into peer pressure.  Respectfully say NO!

4. Set yourself up for success
      This is where the "guidelines" and "the list" comes in!!


Dating eeeks

1. Do not focus on ROMANCE!
     Focus on developing a solid friendship
     Skipping the friendship stage is not wise
Be devoted to one another in love.
Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:10

2. Don't confuse lust for love.
     Remember your Christian Values
It is God's will that you should be sanctified:
that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should
learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

3. Don't date non-Christians
     Trust that God has a plan for you life
     God needs to be center of the relationship
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well. 
Matthew 6:33

4. Don't wait to determine your standards
     Start off with being a good and honorable date.

For we are taking pains to what is right, 
not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.
1 Corinthians 8:21

5. Don't look for someone to make you "WHOLE"
     You are one with God.  You need to be complete before you meet someone.
     God can only bring pure joy and happiness.

"...your faith has made you whole."
Luke 17:19b

6. Do not allow dating to isolate you from others
     Other relationships are very important

You, my brothers and sisters, were call to be free.
But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; 
rather, serve one another humbly in love. 
Galatians 5:13

7. Do not settle for the first available

You need to persevere so that when you
 have done the will of God, 
you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:36

8. Don't be fooled by outside

But the Lord said to Samuel,
"Do not consider his appearance or his height,
for I have rejected him.
People look at the outward appearance, 
but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7


PURITY
June Hunt wrote this guidelines to maintain purity over passion and I LOVE IT!!!

Prioritize God's standard of purity in your dating.
     Make a commitment to God
     Pray daily about the commitment

Marriage should be honored by all, 
and the marriage bed kept pure,
for God will judge the adulterer
and all sexually immoral. 
Hebrews 13:4

Undertake personal accountability for how you treat your dates body. 
     Avoid sexual kissing before marriage...sexual foreplay
     Do not touch your dates body that wouldn't be covered in a full swim suite

In this matter no one should wrong his brother
or take advantage of him.  The Lord will punish men for 
all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 
1 Thessalonians 4:6

Refrain from activities that violate God's standard by arousing sexual desires.
     If these are violated then repent, ask for forgives and recommit
     Do not use language that could arouse sexual desire--even joking
     Get an accountability partner to help you from slipping

It is God's will that you should be sanctified:
that you should avoid sexual immorality; 
that each of you should learn to control his own 
body in a way that is holy and honorable.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

Implement goals that are pleasing to God.
      Study the scripture together
      Do service projects together--help others
      Commit to each other to maintain a balanced life

We make it our goal to please him...
For we must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, 
that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, 
whether good or bad.
2 Corinthians 5:9-10

Trust  God's timing 
      Remember Gods timing is different than others
      Allow God to handle hurt and disappointments
      Do not consider dating as a waiting game.  

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, 
and a thousand years are like a day
2 Peter 3:8

Yield your life to the Lord
      Surrender your expectations, emotions and will to God. 
      Do not let your biological clock block out the voice of the Holy Spirit
      Memorize and meditate on scripture
      Give up your demands

Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, 
and all these things will be given to you as well
Matthew 6:33